I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
