My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
