Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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