Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
