If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
