Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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