I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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