3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
