We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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