Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
