What did we do last night that was yellow?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
