No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
