i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
