If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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