U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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