Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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