I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
