So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
