The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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