i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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