Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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