I wanna bring you to show and tell
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
