so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
