I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
