There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
