i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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