I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
