Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
