ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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