It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
