My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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