she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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