Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
