I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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