So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
