I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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