im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
