he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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