just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
