I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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