What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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