Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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