College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He kissed a someone with a penis
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
