How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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