He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize