I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
