I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
