Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
