if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
