Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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