Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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