It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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