I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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